6/5/07 - questioning the role of a volunteer

Hi, my name is Anisa. I'm a sophomore at Cal and this is the beginning of my third week here in NOLA.

Today I received the answer to a persistent question I've had since I got here. The question is, basically, "What can I offer here - as an outsider first of all, and as a white upper middle class female in a predominantly poor and working class black community?" The fact that I do not represent this community, either as a local or as someone who shares a similar experience, causes inescapable tensions in the volunteer process. These tensions have to be addressed in order for me to move forward in this experience with vital clarity that lets my energy go to the most productive areas, rather than just toward conquering personal confusion.

The first obstacle caused by confusion about my role here actually came from within our volunteer group. During a discussion, some group members who were minorities expressed their opinion that white people could not help fight racism because they had never experienced it and thus lacked an essential understanding that would forever separate them from minorities. As a person who is white and would like to fight racism, this was difficult to hear, especially from the people with whom I am working toward this cause right now. I disagree with this sentiment; I believe that I do have a role in this effort. However, realizing that other people felt this way made me question how my role as a volunteer might differ from the roles of others, like that of a New Orleans resident or of an African American from another community.

So, what can I offer? The beginning of the answer to this question came from Saket, one of our orientation leaders from the New Orleans Survivors' Council. As we are now preparing for outreach work, Saket stressed our role as listeners. None of us, whether minorities or not, knows from experience what the residents of New Orleans have been through. Therefore, we cannot offer them solutions to their problems. What we can do is listen to the residents and connect to this community. The desire of the volunteer to understand and the desire of the resident to be understood are the first steps toward bridging the gap of ignorance that breeds apathy towards the suffering of others. Our own understanding then becomes an asset to the people and communities we share it with.

That is a short answer to a complex question, and it doesn't end there, but it's a good start. I definitely feel that it is not intrusive or presumptuous for me to come to New Orleans and simply make effort to learn what the people here would like to teach me. If I am willing to do that, I don't feel that it matters what my race or socioeconomic status is.

SJ Green Charter Elementary school

Something quick. As of yesterday I started to upload some pictures on to this blog. I finally figured it out and I thank my friends form this trip for that. So if you want to look at the individuals who have been blogging, just scroll down.
As of yesterday, I started working at SJ Green charter school. The individuals I am working with are people from different groups. This group consists of Kristine (different from the krystine in my original group) Waffa, Constance, Alysse, Jessica and myself. For this most of us work with the children. Right now the school is having a sort of summer school for kids who are behind. Yesterday 3 of us (myself, Kristine, Waffa) worked with the first graders, and I believe Constance is working with the kinder gardeners. I will say these kids are very smart but they just need some attention. I did not really notice but the teacher told me that the males tended to gravitate towards me because they need that male interaction. For the most part, we just helped them read some stories and were just there to guide them. It seemed to me that they really enjoyed reading to us and were learning. The thing that got me though was that most of these kids would get frustrated and would give up. One of the kids just got so frustrated that he even told me that he hated me but I know he did not mean it. During lunch time there were all of these announcements and all of this stuff going on. During this time we interacted with the kids and just tried to get them to open to us even more. The the enrichment classes happened. These classes are things such as Yoga, Karate, Beautiful You, Dance, art, sports and theater. As the kids went to these classes we had our lunch, which consisted of a salad, white rice and beans. After that we just waited around to be assigned to do something but for the most part we ended up just siting around doing nothing. I think the most we did was go around collecting the attendance sheets. As you can imaging we were pretty displeased because we felt that we were not utilized to our full potential. We got home and just hung out at the church. Later that night, my original group and I blind folded Christa and took her to Baskin Robins because it was her last night with us. After that we went to the Mississippi river and just talked.

Today we went back to the school, with one less person. Yesterday we had 7 people but one individuals thought he was not being utilized and decided to to work with his original group. Today we again worked with the first graders and had a new addition. For the most part I was working with him and I was really impressed by him because he is a very smart guy. He read these sentences on the board and he sounded out the words and eventually got them. One the words he sounded out and got was "Discover", which when he got it, he was very happy. Later in the day I found out that he never smiled during the school year and the teacher was extremely happy to see him smile. There was this one student that is the son of the kindergarten teacher and he was just unhappy and decided that he quit because he could not do anything. They took him to his mother and she told him that if he does not quit she would give him a treat but he told her that he did not want a treat. I found out later that he is living in a FEMA trailer with his mom, father and brother. I just cannot imagine what this kid goes through. He does not have any place to play because last I remember, those trailers are so small and no one should live in them, especially little kids. That is wrong. I remember yesterday he asked us if he could come with us because he did not want to go home. Words cannot describe how I felt hearing that. Constance is helping her out with the kindergarten children and she tells us that the teacher does not utilizes her. However, that teacher to us, obviously need her help because Constance told us that she only focuses on two kids at a time and does not play attention to the others and just needs that extra hand to help the other kids while she works with the other kids. We also found out that the second grade class have so much anger and really do not respect the teacher. They argue with the teacher, they hit them, and tell them to not touch them. Also, some of these students did not even have a kindergarten class because of the hurricane and missed an entire year of school. Also, many of these kids are behind and the school does not emphasis trying to get these student to the level they need to be at. They think that the children can catch up later and do not worry. However, what happens when the children are in fourth grade and can only read at a kindergarten level and need to talk the LEAP test in order to go on to the next grade, will waiting for the kids to catch up later really work? Right now I am just thinking that these kids are starting to get attached to us and what I am worried about now is that they will think that they have done something wrong when we leave next Tuesday. As we were talking to the teacher we are assisting, she brought that up. The kids have had teachers who only stay for a bit and then leave and the children blame themselves for it and I am afraid that they might feel the same way when we leave. I wish I could stay for the remainder of that program since they the first day was only yesterday but unfortunately the 3 weeks are up next tuesday. As much as it will pain me, I have to try to make an attempt to not allow the kids to fully get attached to us and remind them that we are only there for this week. I really have no idea how that is going to happen because I am the type of person that tries to become close to people and to try to distance myself will be very hard. I know something more has to be done to help out. There has to be various organizations made up of volunteers to focus on different things, some to focus on gutting, painting, rebuilding, others to volunteer with the elementary schools, helping the kids with their reading and writing skills, and so on. I guess this would be giving back to the "community". I wish there as a way to help these kids with learning how to read at the level they are supposed to be at if not at a higher level. Until Next time.

Ebelio

Do Not Demolish. I’m REBUILDING!

Ever since Hurricane Katrina hit I wanted to come down to New Orleans to volunteer and to bear witness to what I considered one of the greatest disasters and tragedies of our times. After the hurricane each day I watched the television, growing steadily infuriated, as people remained on their roofs without water, without food, and without any sign of the most powerful government in the world. As each day passed, I continuously said to myself, “the government has to do something today.” Unfortunately, I find myself uttering the same exact statement in my mind today…at least in part. What is probably most frightening about this experience is the inability, and/or unwillingness, of our government (by which I mean both state and local) to be able to handle a disaster of this sort and the disparity of both the impact and rebuilding effort.

The first week of the trip I volunteered at Just the Right Attitude (JTRA) located in East New Orleans, one of the hardest hit areas in the storm. Several people blogged about their experiences there (see below) but what really stuck out to me was the comparison between where we are staying and areas such as East New Orleans. We are in the South Carrollton neighborhood which was hit but a significant portion of the neighborhood is back in their homes. Driving through the neighborhood you see multiple construction workers hired by the homeowners to rebuild their homes. One day I saw a woman sitting in front of the infamous X mark on the house (containing search date, number of bodies found, agency, and chemicals present) and she was having a drink while working on her laptop. Cafes and restaurants are packed on Friday and Saturday nights and you can almost momentarily forget the storm. Driving around the area of JTRA, entire roofs of houses were removed by the storm and buildings lay in heaps, their former purpose unidentifiable. Entire neighborhoods are totally vacant like a scene from 28 Days Later. There is no rebuilding, only bulldozers tearing apart what used to be a home but is missing any human element required to be labeled as such. The impact of the storm and focus on rebuilding inevitably fell based on class and racial lines, with poor blacks bearing the brunt of the storm and facing the most resistance in attempts to rebuild. This paradigm is most prevalent in the Ninth Ward.

We had a chance to go on a Levee Tour, conducted by the People’s Organizing Committee (POC). The levee that was supposed to protect the Ninth Ward, a community with one of the highest areas of homeownership for blacks, was nothing more than a slab of concrete approximately 10 feet tall pre-Katrina. It’s important to note that most of the levees in other neighborhoods (particularly more white middle class neighborhoods) are triangular shapes and include more of a hill like formation. When the Ninth Ward levee was breeched it annihilated houses directly next to the wall leaving behind only a field and swept a significant portion of other houses in the Ninth Ward off of their foundations, leaving behind only concrete steps and remnants of where a home used to be.

Two years later most homes are still evacuated and the Ninth Ward is looking more like an old abandoned ghost town. Residents are offered “Free Demolition” and are encouraged to sell their property to the plethora of bidders. Developers are attempting to buy up the property at cheap costs with hopes of selling to potential buyers such as Donald Trump. Meanwhile, the residents of the Ninth Ward are being told the area is unsafe to live in because the new levee (several feet higher) is no safer than the previously breeched one. The question that this situation raises is if the area is so unsafe why are developers so eager to move in? The only answer I have been able to come to is that the developers know if they are able to build a mass casino on land previously occupied by poorer black people, the levees will be fixed. The people who lived in that community before did not have the political might to get the levees fixed (although it was known this particular levee was inadequate). In New Orleans, those people looked a certain way.

Hurricane Katrina, and what has unfolded since, is a story of have and have nots. Initially watching the events of the hurricane unfold on my television screen thousands of miles away I needed to come to New Orleans because I didn’t want to believe that this was happening in America. I didn’t want to believe we let our fellow citizens sit on roofs for three days without water or food. That we weren’t doing everything in our power to get people back in their homes and improve, not just patch, the levees. Unfortunately, what I saw on that television screen and what I initially thought has been confirmed. Almost two years later and there is still no overarching plan to rebuild Louisiana. Though what I’ve seen and heard here in terms of government involvement in rebuilding has been disappointing, the work of organizations, non-profits, volunteers, and individuals has been inspiring. Looking around at the other eighty plus people of the Magnolia Project and hearing why they became involved gives me hope. But most of all, the courage of those who faced Hurricane Katrina and refuse to give up on the only place they call home, posting signs such as “Do Not Demolish. I’m REBUILDING!” on the front of their homes, give me hope and inspire a commitment from me to continue to support the community of New Orleans in rebuilding the city that residents envision.

Past Days

The past couple of days have been insane. On Friday we gutted again and went to talk to the residents again. I paired up with Christa and it was a pretty interesting experience. We talked to this one individuals who was very bitter about New Orleans and wanted to move away as soon as possible. He just told us everything that was going wrong with him and how he has had a bad experience in New Orleans. A couple of individuals later we talked to a teacher who is working on some board and told us she wanted to move out of New Orleans as well of everything that is going on. She just told us about the education in New Orleans and how awful it was and how the private schools are so much better. She was also telling us that there need to be some from of Revolution in order to make changes. We also meet a former UC Berkeley professor of African American studies and some thing else. He gave us a lot of Positive criticism. He told us how there needs to be block organizing instead of trying to organize everyone. The reason for it is because block organizing allows for common interests to be brought up. Also he criticized the name of the meeting we were advertising. The title of the meeting was The Survivals Council and stated that a Survivor can be seen as a particular individual and some individuals may not see themselves as survivors.

After we finished with talking to the locals, we came back to the church and decided to go out and eat as a group. As we ate, we would have our reflexion. I will say that that reflexion was the most intense, most personal, and one of the greatest conversations I have ever been involved in. Our group just opened up and just shared some deep, personal stuff with one another. Some cried. After we were done we went left and walked around. We saw that every store was closed and decided to go back to the church. On the way we found out that one of our members was leaving the following day, which was kind of sad. What bugs me is that my group just keeps dwindling down. On Tuesday, Christa will be leaving so there will only be 4 individuals left in Group 6. Christa is such an awesome person and I will admit that I will miss her as well as everyone else. She just brings this different from of energy to the group. Also, I wish luck to the member that left yesterday.

Yesterday, we attended the Survivals Council meeting. What I ended up doing, along with some others, was playing with these little 3 boys. I had so much fun but they wore me out. I had not idea how I was going to be able to gut for 5 hours. The meeting ended and we went to get lunch at Cajun Seafood. After that we went to gut and it was so hot. I only took about 2 breaks and just worked to do my best to do as much as I could do. By the end of the day I was drenched in sweat. After that we came back to the church were we rushed to gather our dirty clothes and go to the laundry mat to wash them. After that we went back to the church to relax.

As for today, I went to church with a group of people at Loyola and I will say that the Priest just seemed to be detached. There was this one individual that sang and that guy could really sing. After that we came back to relax. Then we went to the French quarter where we visited the French Market. There was so much good stuff there. I bought some stuff for some people back at home. I hope they like the gifts I got them. Anyways, until next time.

Ebelio